Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Oh my...it's been weeks and months since I have posted. Why? Because after a long day at school dealing with students who are learning disabled, emotionally disturbed (actual disability category according to IDIEA...not my own, I swear), autistic, or generally disorganized and not a fan of the whole "school" thing, the last thing I want to do is sit down in front of the computer and type about my day. Also, for legal reasons I can't or shouldn't write about the countless stories I have from my job. As a parent, if I found out my child's teacher was blogging about my kid after hours..I would be pissed. Unless it was a story that portrayed my child as some sort of a genius! So why start a blog you say...not sure right about now. I think it has something to do with keeping me intellectually stimulated over the summer while I was home with my kids! So without much to write about today here is a list of memorable moments from this fall:

1. Chad took his annual college football trip to Clemson, SC this year. No one was arrested, but there was one "chipped tooth" incident and one waterlogged cell phone.

2. Chad acquired a new Black berry as a result of this trip, paid for by his company. Meanwhile I still have to use this outdated, sad looking phone which I really hate.

3. Cameryn's hair is now long enough to put into pigtails. But now I have thousands of small colored rubber bands all over my house!

4. I spent hundreds of dollars so that I could dress up myself, Ian, Cam, and Katie (dog) as Star Wars characters for Halloween. Katie (dressed as Darth Vador) received the most compliments from friends and family. Really? Didn't anyone like my cool Princess Leia Wig? Side note: Chad refused to participate in this. Loser!

5. I must have no immune system because I have had every known virus/cold this fall.

6. Chad rented a cherry picker to paint our 100 year old house because he refuses to pay someone else to do it. After almost physically killing himself one entire weekend scraping/painting, the house is still not completely painted. But I did get some good pics of my husband!

7. I am no longer the young teacher that I still think I am in my own mind. This year I have some parents who are younger than me, but have a 13 year old. There is also an employee at my child's daycare who called me by my maiden name and said she had me in summer school. She told me it took her a while to figure out who I was because I looked so different....hmmm....is that a compliment? I didn't press her for an explanation.

8. I have managed to finish some really good books....including the Hunger Games trilogy, Sarah's Key, and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Nothing like a good book..it beats cleaning the house or watching your kids any day!

9. We joined the local YMCA as a family with the intentions of getting into shape. Needless to say I am about 5 pounds heavier than I was over the summer AND the Y is pretty much making money off of us. Not sure how much longer we will stay members.

10. I am working with a new team of teachers this year (new to me, not to the building). And it is going really well. It's the right amount of fun, sarcasm, and professionalism. I also have student who needs a one on one aide and by luck my old buddy from years past was available. She is awesome, a fully certified teacher in her own right, and makes my job 1000 times easier! It's awesome to feel "in the groove" every day at work. Not to mention I implemented some new interventions with a few of my low readers...and their fluency scores have shot way up. I can't tell you how rewarding this feels!

That's all for now...be sure to stay tuned. Next post will hopefully be before Easter.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

From bad to worse...

So here it is....back to school week. Tomorrow is the first day of school...already. Don't get me wrong I am fine with heading back to work. Being home all day with 2 little kids is not my idea of paradise. I love my children and we have had a lot of fun...but some days can seem LONG! Anyway the first week back and my attempts at organization are already falling by the way side. This morning I realized it was my Mom's birthday and I never sent her a card or present. Strike one. It is super shitty of me considering she does everything for her family, including spoiling my kids rotten, and the least I could do was send her a card. So my plan was to leave work right at 3:30, being that there are no students today that should be easy, head to daycare, pick up my kids, and then head out shopping. While we are out I can have Ian call his "Ga Ga" and wish her a happy birthday, then I can explain and apologize for being a crappy daughter. I wanted to head to Avon Commons to pick up Cameryn's recent pictures from the photo studio at Target, then head to Kohl's to find my mom something. The Target portion of the trip goes fine...we pick up the pics and I purchase a few other things I need (new hair dryer because mine broke this AM, and some baby food for Cam because she is about to run out at day care). However, the trip takes longer than I expected. I got side tracked in the toy aisle with Ian as we were saying hi to Buzz and Woody (Toy Story Fans will understand), and then in the card aisle trying to find just the right sentiment for my mom. So after cashing out and realizing I just spent another $80.00 at Target (Damn it....every time!), we head over to Kohl's and I decide to just get mom a gift certificate so that she can get a new outfit for work. Soon we are back in the car and heading home to Lakewood. It is now dinner time....6:00 to be exact as we roll into the driveway. Ian is hungry (as he keeps telling me over and over), and Cameryn is crying. I get out of the car, unload the kids, and get to my backdoor only to realize I do not have a house key on my key ring. WTF!
I go around to the front door, trying not to panic. Key works, but door is dead bolted from the inside. Chad had plans to work late tonight because a client is in town. He wasn't planning on being home until well after bedtime. I call him on my cell to see if I can convince him to drive up to Lakewood to rescue me...but no. To make a long story short...I have to load the kids back into the car and drive them down to Brunswick to meet Chad to get a house key. This is after I called my neighbors and close friends to see if there was any chance that they had a spare key to my house (yeah...like I thought ahead that much). We don't get back home until 7:15....after going through the McDonald's drive-thru for dinner. I can't leave out that to stop Cameryn from screaming I ripped open a box of Wheat Thins that I had just bought at Target and hand them to her one at a time all the way down I-71. I was scared to death that I was going to kills us all in a car wreck, but was happy she was at least eating. It was only later after pulling into the driveway that I found 40 uneaten Wheat Thins all over my back seat.
When I finally remember to call my mom....we just get her voice mail on both the house phone and her cell. I am not even sure she knows how to access her voice mail. The only good part of this night was that Katie did not have any accidents in the house despite being locked up since 7:30 AM and Cameryn drank a serving of milk from her sippy cup (not bottle) probably because she was completely starved. I know have to go pack my lunch, make bottles for tomorrow, and pray that tomorrow night goes much better.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Just Do It!

So I haven't posted anything in a while....I thought I should wait until I had a good story. But I started reading this book, God Doesn't Blink by Regina Brett. For those of you who haven't heard of this author, she is a columnist for Cleveland's newspaper, The Plain Dealer. I have always liked her columns and a few years back she wrote one about 45 life lessons she has learned. Five years later she added 5 more lessons and reprinted the column. So many people liked it that she decided to expand on those lessons and create a book. I just love it. It is inspiring, real, sincere, and practical. Her life wasn't perfect and she shares little anecdotes from her past to make each lesson something that the common man can relate to. When I read her stories, her ideas...I see myself. Anyway....one of her lessons or maybe it's a blend of a few, talks about not waiting. Whatever it is you want to do....go back to school, become a writer, lose weight, clean out your garage, forgive someone, call a long lost friend....you just need to start doing it. It doesn't have to be completed all in one day. Your attempt doesn't have to be perfect. But if you wait for it to be perfect...you'll just keep waiting. It sounds so simple...yet that idea resonated so profoundly with me. I am a waiter. Not the kind that works in a restaurant and serves people food (although I used to do that). But in life...I WAIT...a lot...for what I am not sure.
I recently started working out again. My goal is to run in a 5k this September in honor of my friend who is fighting breast cancer. This past week I hit a snag. My left knee is killing me. My doctor thinks it is "runner's knee". Whatever it is...it freaking hurts. It hurt so much I could barely walk. Chad (husband) told me to take a break from running for at least a week. Part of me was happy...the lazy, loves to watch crappy TV while sipping a beer was celebrating. But the other part of me..was depressed. Great. I set out to do something and 3 weeks in I hit a snag. Just one more thing I can't do or fell short on. But you know what...that is crap. I have sincerely felt so much better since I started running. I don't know if it is the endorphins that are supposedly released when you exercise OR the fact that is feels good to do something that I didn't think I could do...but I have felt really good about myself. I haven't lost any weight, but I look better. Chad even said I look thinner and leaner. My weight might be the same number...but it is a better version of that number than it was before I started running. So today I decided to go biking. I pulled out this bike we keep in our basement for my father in law (avid biker) to use when he visits us from NY. And away I went. I loved it! This might be it for me. Waaaaaaay better than running. And when I came home I decided to write. What am I waiting for anyway? No more waiting.....this post may be boring or stupid to some people...but it is real and the truth...my truth. Ian just told me it is time to go read a library book together....I agree!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

The road to the 5k......

It is Day 5 of training for the 5k. I looked up the date of the annual "Race for the Cure" 5K that takes place in Cleveland every fall and this year it will be on September 11th. I am starting to panic....I was counting on a date in October.

Today I ran 1.6 miles without stopping. I am halfway there. Of course I was on the treadmill. All of my other runs have been outside. In addition to running I have also started some basic weight lifting. Today's run was by far the easiest. I wasn't winded but my body definitely hurts. I am not used to this. I know I haven't run at all since High School. Sad.

I keep waiting for the "runner's high" everyone talks about. So far I have nothin'. In fact I hate every second. That is my relationship with exercise. I hate it. I know it is good for me and I am glad when I do it (afterwords), but during it....I am counting down the seconds until I can be done. To me exercise is just another chore on my to do list....like cleaning the bathroom or doing the laundry. Except experts say you should do it every day. That is the part that sucks. When you clean the bathroom once you are in good for a while (I use the term "a while" because I don't really want the world to know how long my bathroom goes between cleanings...). But with exercise you could run 5 miles in one day and be expected to do the same thing if not MORE the next. Ugh.

Oh well....I do feel better knowing I am doing something positive for myself. And I have already lost a few pounds.
Today as I was running on the treadmill I couldn't help watching the calorie counter. As I reached the end of my run it said I had burned 185 calories. That's it??? 185 lousy calories. Jesus Christ. That is the amount in one of those small granola bars or one yogurt. That blows. That is probably the equivalent of one oreo or one god damn spoonful of ice cream. I see how people can get discouraged. I can also hear all those fitness freaks telling me to substitute non-fat sorbet for my favorite blizzard at the DQ or some weird turkey burger for my favorite meal at 5 Guys. No thanks. It's just not the same. Oh well....I will keep chugging along.

On a side note as I was running Ian came downstairs to inform me that was Dinosaur Train was over. (Thanks Buddy - I needed to know that). When he saw me on the treadmill he asked, "What you doin' Mommy?" I told him I was exercising. He told me to stop so I could play a game with him and that I was "all wet" and needed to go dry off. He's right...on both fronts. Time to go play another rousing game of Candy Land.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Wisconsin was not kind to my body. Too much cheese and sausage led to me putting on 4 pounds in one week. Drinking every night with my parents also might have had something to do with it. I also have several bug bites on my legs that continue to itch. I am starting to think that all bug sprays are a scam. I loaded that stuff on me every night and still got bit. ??
Anyway I weighed myself on Saturday night when we got back into town right before going to bed. I almost cried when I saw the number. How could this be? I am not pregnant and really can't use "I just had a baby" as my excuse anymore. After all she is 1 now. I started to think back as to what I weighed before having my kids and when I got married. When I was really honest with myself I realized I need to lose 15 pounds to get back down to the weight I was before I had my kids. 15 pounds. Sounds easy....but I think I might have to actually exercise to get that off.
Lately I keep see posts from friends of mine on Facebook who have achieved fitness goals...like running a 5K or completing a triathlon. When I see their pictures and read about their successes the bigger part of me is thinking, "Wow that is awesome. I am jealous! I wish I could do that. " The other petty part of me is thinking, "You suck. Now there is one more person who looks amazing after motherhood to make me feel worse about my own body."
Even though I know it is wrong to let the petty part of me have a voice, I actually think this is the voice that is going to inspire me. I used to like the way I looked. I used to think I looked pretty good. I miss my old, pre-motherhood body. I miss my flat stomach and cute butt. I miss easily fitting into my size 8's and being able to eat whatever I want. Now I have to squeeze into those size 8's and every time I eat I think, "Will I regret this later?".
So after weighing myself I came into bed and told Chad. He of course in his ever so supportive tone said, "Well, what are you going to do about it?" After 10 minutes of a back and forth sarcastic battle between the two of us in which I got defensive, then pouty, I realized he was right. (God it sucks to write that....). Somehow during the course of this conversation Chad became my trainer. I am not sure how this happened. I know I didn't ask him, but I also know deep down that I need someone to push me. Someone who won't take any of my excuses or bullshit and someone who is good at being a douche to me....who better than my husband?
Seriously though...he is perfect for the job. So last night training officially began. I should also add that I want to run in a 5k this fall to support those fighting breast cancer. My friend was recently diagnosed and is working her ass off to battle this disease. Her kids are the same ages as mine (3 and 1) and her diagnosis came as quite a shock. If she can endure chemo, surgery, and radiation then I can run a 5k. My fat, hasn't run since high school ass can run a 5k. It's not that far right? 3.2 miles...what?
So last night I suited up (running shoes, ponytail, knee-brace) and started off on the course Chad set for me. Let's just say it sucked. But I did it. I couldn't run all the way - but I ran more than I thought I could. And after I caught my breath and sucked down a bottle of water, I felt good! There is more in store for me tonight....so stay tuned. I will need all of my friends to keep me inspired to get back into shape and lose those last 15 stubborn pounds. But more importantly I want to be able to say I did something. I set a goal and completed it. I know that will be the best reward.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Solo Road Trip

Driving from Cleveland to upstate NY is not a fun drive. It's boring, but easy. You just hop on I-90 and head east. Normally (before kids) it would take Chad and I about 4 hours to do this drive back home to see our families. Last week I did it by myself with both the kids. Here's how it went........
I packed up everything I could the night before to make life easier in the AM. Cameryn woke up at 5:30 am (of course) so I decided to feed and bathe her immediately so she would smell good for her grandparents. Next, Ian woke up so I threw him in the shower with Chad before he left for work so that he would also smell good. The next few hours were a blur as I tried to get myself showered, dressed, and ran around packing up last minute things. I tried to stuff a HUGE breakfast into Cameryn hoping it would help her sleep for as much of the trip as possible. Finally, after packing everything into the car, locking both kids into their car seats, and going back into the house twice to grab something I forgot, we were on the road. It was 9:33 am. But first, I needed coffee! I did NOT want to get the kids out of the car so I drove to McDonald's because they have a drive thru here in Lakewood. Of course that morning at the precise time I swerved into the parking lot, the drive-thru was blocked off by a delivery van. Great....I tried to think fast. Dunkin Donuts..of course! They also had a drive thru so I back tracked and grabbed a LARGE ice coffee so keep myself awake until reaching good old upstate NY. The drive started out fine. I chit chatted with my friend (I know driving while using the cell phone is bad....) until we were well outside of the city. Then I scanned the radio trying to find something to listen to besides the script of Toy Story which Ian was gazing at in the back. (Side note: BEST INVENTION EVER....portable DVD players for the car. My childhood would have been A LOT better if we had had one on long family car trips.) I wasn't having any luck finding something to listen to so I kept hitting scan. My resentment towards Chad (who had the chord for the IPOD in his car) was growing. Without that chord I was at the mercy of the radio. As we approached the Ohio/Pennsylvania border I contemplated stopping for gas. There is an exit near Ashtabula which is famous in our family because it always has the best gas prices. Even though Cam was sleeping peacefully and Ian was staring at the movie like a crack addict, I decided to risk stopping. I needed to get gas sometime...why not do it now while it was cheap and my tank wasn't on E. The stop was a quickie....and soon we were back on the road. For the next 40 minutes or so things started to deteriorate. Cam started to fuss. Probably because the sun was beating on her face because I forgot to put the baby window shade on. Ian's movie was over and he wanted to watch another one. And I...well I HAD to go to the bathroom. Right about then was when I was starting to regret the purchase at Dunkin' Donuts. So I decided to stop in Erie where Ian could eat, I could pee, and Cam could have a bottle. I pulled into a McDonald's parking lot and tried to strategize how I was going to do all of this by myself. I decided to just lug Cam in her detachable baby car seat and prayed that Ian would actually listen to me today. The bathroom was the first stop or else I was going to embarrass myself. I waited until the handicapped stall was open and herded everyone in. As much as I love my children I really miss the days when I could go to the bathroom by myself. Ian declares that he needs to go first and does so quickly. He was fascinated with the self-flushing toilet asking me a billion questions about how it worked. Next, it was my turn. As I pulled down my pants the inquisition from my ever curious 3 year old son started. "Mommy?"
"Yes, Ian."
"Why are you sitting?"
"Because that's how I go potty buddy. Remember we have talked about this before."
"Oh yeah. Mommy you have a gina?" (Ian speak for vagina). And remember we are in a public bathroom so EVERYONE can hear us.
"Yes, honny. I do."
"Mom...you goin poop?"
"No buddy. I'm not"
"Mom, you goin to wipe?"
"Yes I am".
"Can I flush your potty?"
"No buddy. I don't need you to." By now I was pretty much embarrassed because I heard other patrons chuckling and I just wanted to get back on the road. I didn't have the energy to explain the whole sensor toilet thing to Ian. I tried to distract him by asking me to help with Cam because now she needed to get changed. Finally we got out of the stall and it was time to wash hands. If I thought he was fascinated with the toilet I had underestimated the power of the automatic hand dryer! Next...time to feed everyone. Ian was easy....kids meal with chicken nuggets. I sat down with Cam and gave her a bottle while I stared longingly at my own lunch. I encouraged Ian to eat quickly which is a struggle for him. I swear no one in the world can linger over a meal like him. After numerous prompts on my part I realized that I was getting no where with Ian and decided he could finish eating in the car. Without stopping to get into a debate with him I swooped everyone up and got them back in the car. Swoop is a strong word here. It was actually pain staking but for the sake of this post I am trying to move things along.
When we were finally back on the road again it was about noon. I sighed heavily. I was hoping to at least be in NY at this time. No such luck. I switched Ian's movie to Finding Nemo and pulled back onto the highway. I know I mentioned earlier that portable DVD players are a great thing...but they are not perfect. If they were perfect 3 year olds would not be able to so easily kick the chord loose so that they would lose power. Two of these "accidents" which Ian labels any incident that it totally his fault but won't admit to, occurred over the next hour. I had to stop both times to connect the chord and restart his movie. Each stop caused Cameryn to stir from a restless sleep to a semi-conscious state. I was losing time and I knew I wasn't going to make it to Clifton Springs without a total melt down from her. Sure enough right around the Batavia Exit on the NY State Thruway the "melting" started. Cam was now awake and started to whimper. Then she started to cry. Then she started to scream. I reached into the supply of pacifiers I had in my purse and stretched more than I thought was possible backwards to put it into her mouth. Silence would ensue for about 3 minutes and then she would start screaming again. I methodically went through 5 different pacifiers before finally giving up. Cam continued to cry, Ian was now complaining, and I was about ready to lose it. It was about 2:15. I was just about at good old exit 43...the finish line. I decided to just keep going. I rolled the windows down, turned the radio up, and kept driving as fast as I could until I was off the thruway and on route 96. At 2:30 I rolled into my parent's driveway and I put the car into park. We had made it....6 hours later....but we made it. I was exhausted, grumpy, and now I had to go inside and deal with my parents. Why was I doing this again...oh yeah...the kids were going to stay in NY for a whole week so Chad and I could have a week alone in Ohio. Totally worth it!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Early Mornings...

My children clearly don't understand that it is summer. It's summer! We can sleep in, relax, do whatever we want....Mommy doesn't have to go to work for 2 months! Yet, my 11 month old daughter has gotten up every day somewhere between 5:30 and 6:00 am. She NEVER woke up this early during the school year. My 3 year old son, lingers a little longer (7:00 a.m.) in his room...but not much.
I am not a morning person. Never have been, never will be. I also LOVE to sleep. I now think back with longing on those days of old when I used to sleep in on weekends until 11:00 or noon. Waking up at 9:00 am used to feel early. That is a cruel joke to my current reality. It's hard for me not to harbor resentment about these early mornings. I look at my beautiful children and am thankful for them each and every day, yet I wish they would learn to SLEEP in!
This morning Cameryn woke up right on cue at 5:46 am. My husband got up with her and took her for an early morning walk (bless him) so I could sleep a little more. However about 30 minutes later I heard my son calling me telling me he was awake and he had to go potty. So much for that extra hour of sleep. I begrudgingly crawled out of my warm bed, again, and went to take care of him. To give myself a few more minutes back in my bed I told him he could come in with me to watch cartoons. He was of course, thrilled. He doesn't have a TV in his room and if I have anything to say about it, he never will. Right now he thinks you have to be a mommy or a daddy in order to have a TV in your room. I pulled him into bed with me and turned on Handy Mandy. I turned over on my side facing him, snuggled with my blankets, and closed my eyes hoping for a few more minutes of bliss. Soon I felt his fingers crawling along my face as he sang "The Itsy Bitsy Spider". I smiled and tried to sleep. A few minutes later he asked what the red thing (pimple) was on my cheek. I explained to him what it was (even though I don't understand why at 34 I still get them) and again tried to recapture the quiet. The cartoon ended and Ian poked me and said, "Mom, Handy Mandy will be right back" echoing the words of the announcer. I smiled and said, "Good. I love Handy Mandy." He said, "Mommy, I love you!". OK...early mornings aren't THAT bad.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Ian's Big Fat Greek Wedding.....almost

So yesterday at the pool Ian met a new friend...an adorable little Greek girl, named Sophia. She was there with her "Ya-Ya" or Grandmother. She had dark hair, blue eyes, silver earrings hanging from her 3 year old lobes, and unfortunately a rather prominent nose for a toddler. She came right up to Ian and introduced herself. It took some prodding from me for Ian to do the same. He did however say, "This is my Cameryn!" as he pointed at his little sister who was cradled in my lap, which I thought was cute. Once Sophia learned Ian's name she quickly started bossing him around. Telling him to stay, sit, swim, etc. Funny how the bossing around starts so young in some little girls. I was amused to watch Ian's reaction.......he looked at her and basically ignored her. He didn't say no to any of her requests, but he didn't comply with any of them either. Funny how that also starts so young (completely ignoring bossy women) in little boys.
For a good 30 minutes they "swam" in the Madison Kiddle Pool, took turns jumping in and out of the pool, and ran back and forth to chat between myself and Sophia's Ya-Ya. As I held Cameryn I suddenly started thinking about the movie, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and imagined Chad and I at this crazy, loud, wedding in which my son would be made to convert to the Greek Orthodox religion and I would have to stare at a fake Parthenon backdrop. I couldn't help but laugh when I imagined Sophia's Father contemplating my son, just as the Greek Father in the movie did by saying,
"My daughter is marrying an Ian (pronounced 'Eeon') Williams! What is that? Is he good boy? I don't know. Does he come from good family? I don't know.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!"

After a few more splashes it was time to leave and I yelled to Ian. He ran over to me and started heading for his towel. I asked him if he wanted to guy say goodbye to Sophia before he left. He turned abruptly and quickly yelled, "Good-bye!" to no one in particular. Pretty sure Sophia didn't know that shout was meant for her. Oh well - for now, there are no plans for Ian's religion conversion.